The more you complain about your problems, the more problems you will have to complain about -…
As we were landing into the mid of an year, like everybody else, I retrospected and reevaluated my last year’s journey. I thought it’s the perfect time to start making the changes which I thought of doing few weeks back or last month or last year. When I brooded about what is that one habit which I want to improve upon and change is, the only thing which came into my mind was to stop complaining.
As mindful I strive to be with my words, I always used to end up complaining, be it the weather, job, clothes, relationships, worldly situations, traffic, high prices etc..The list goes on. Have you ever thought of the amount of time you complain in a day.
The thing is we have made ourselves so miserable that we end up finding fault and blaming others for our current situation. Think about it: Has complaining solved any of your problems?
When we complain about things to our family. friends or spouse, we only bring negative energy into our lives. The energy which we invest in complaining if invested in doing something positive, will transform our life and make it happier.
So this year, I challenged myself to stop complaining and see what happens. I knew that complaining is a habit and it will take a little time to break it but one thing was for sure, habit can be broken with will power and consistency.
Well, it’s been 2 months that I have been practicing the art to not complaining and guess what, I have been pretty successful. Of course, I cannot say that I never did complain in past 2 months. I did a few times but I think it’s ok as I am still on the path to break a bad habit and inculcate a good one.
Things that I did in order to stop complaining:
Often I have found myself worrying about things which I don’t have rather than focusing on things which I have. This year I decided to say more of phrases like “Thank You”, “I appreciate your help, “Congratulations” or simply just acknowledging the fact the “how lucky I am to be alive”. Of course, it did take a little time to do it sub-consciously, therefore, I started setting micro-goals instead of macro goals. Every morning, I used to be thankful of what I have and reminded myself to be better than the previous day thus slowly building the habit.
2. Change perspective:
Everyone has their own story, their own way of looking towards life. By simply accepting this fact, you will notice that you are more open to people, to life and you will open up possibilities for you which you never thought of. It’s not necessary to agree with the other person but you can always appreciate and accept his thoughts and values. You cannot change somebody else’s attitude and perspective but you can change yours.
I have always had a strong stand on what I believed in and what I stand for, which of course led to clashes with people around me. So, I promised myself that I will listen to people more and try to understand their perspective. I must say, in past 2 months, I have been able to look at the world with endless possibilities and it has widened my horizon.
One thing which I have learnt in past 2 months is: It’s not necessary to agree with the other person but you can always appreciate and accept his thoughts and values. You cannot change somebody else’s attitude and perspective but you can change yours.
3. Change complaints into solutions:
This is the most important point which I followed. Whenever I used to see myself complaining about anything, I would ask myself what can I do to change the situation. If I didn’t have a solution, accepting the thing the way it is killed l the urge to complain. For example instead of complaining that it’s cold outside and I hate living in this place, I used to stuff myself with woolens so that I feel warm and cozy. Use complaints as a catalyst for positive change and positive actions. It will bring peace and happiness into your life rather than frustration.
Use complaints as a catalyst for positive change and positive actions. It will bring peace and happiness into your life rather than frustration.
4. Dissociation from people who complain too much:
Constantly listening to people who are angry, frustrated and complain too much about family, life, situations only adds negative energy into your life. It’s very important to draw a boundary line in your life and surround yourselves with people who are cheerful, grateful and appreciative of life.
In past months, I have distanced myself from people who complain a lot. It’s not that I did not met or talk to them at all but yes, I did not indulge myself when people around me started whining. I distance myself from that conversation. Doing this has brought a very positive spark to my life. I feel vibrant and full of positive energy.
5. Notice how often you complain:
Simply by being consciously aware of what we say, we can notice how often we complain and what about? I started noticing when do I complain? Do I complain during a particular time, situation or around particular people. Whatever was the case, I followed all the above points and tried to live my life to the fullest.
6. Practice Meditation & Yoga:
Yoga is a positive way of life which helps you to be stress-free, healthy and happy. It strengthens positive mental attitude, develops focus, concentration and increases flexibility. It makes you feel alive and helps to know your true self. Yoga along with meditation will help you churn out all the negative thoughts and emotions and you will feel more connected to yourself and to the world around you.
I started practicing yoga and meditation. However, I couldn’t do it regularly as I have always run away from exercising. I am still trying to improve on this particular point.
One thing which I can say for sure after 2 months is it has changed my life for better. I feel very happy and energized from inside. Of course, it will be impossible to wake up the next morning and completely stop complaining but by being mindful of what we say, we can slowly change the habit and be more happy and present in now. Never forget that life is all about perspective.
Of course, It wasn’t like I woke up the next morning and completely stopped complaining but by being mindful of what we say, we can slowly change the habit and be more happy and present in now. Never forget that life is all about perspective.
Try it for a week and let me know how has it changed your life?